Unrequited...

Unrequited definition :"not returned or reciprocated: unrequited love."
Our winter guard show is titled unrequited.
A week ago i wouldn't have been able to understand what that truly meant but now i know.
I know now what it means to feel the absence of love to be alone and to feel afraid.
I know how so many other teenage girls feel.
I know what they think and what they say to themselves.
But what i don't know is why.....
why do we put ourselves down just because they don't feel the same way.
why do we think that they think we are ugly, fat, or stupid just because they changed there minds about us.
why do we sit here and tear ourselves down just because they didn't want to build us up anymore?
Why is the world filled with hate, misunderstandings, lies, cheaters, players, adulterers, idiots, and morons?
And why is there no peace?
No peace of mind, heart, spirit, world or any other sort.
there is just confusion, heartbreak, violence, etc.
When we were younger we watched chick flicks and fairytale endings with ever happy go lucky Disney movie imaginable.....
They never showed us the heartbreak, hard times, fights, disagreements, or issues that really play into a relationship.
they lied.
plain and simple they lied not intentionally but they did.
I expected a fairytale happy ending....
I expected my life to be like in those movies....
I expected dancing to no music...
kissing in the rain...
holding hands on the beach at sunset....
laying on a picnic blanket looking at the stars...
taking pictures in photo booths....
I expected too much.
you never get what you expect...
and high expectations only go into disappointment and tears...
They get crushed.
and when you think your dreams are coming true its all just a big lie...
My life isn't....
Tangled.... we didn't on a big adventure....
my life isn't
Aladdin..... i never got my three wishes....
My life isn't
beauty and the beast.... we didn't dance or have snowball fights....
my life isn't
Cinderella.... he never bothered looking for his lost princess....
my life isn't
Hercules.... because he chose something else then being with me
And my life isn't...
perfect...
i wish it was but its not.
the end.
if only it was things would be simpler.
one day everything we be a fairy tale but until that day....
I am just dress shopping for the perfect ball gown....

Sincerely,

I am unrequited....

(for now)