My wish....

So life has just been stupid. so have a lot of people. i can't tell you what i know because technically I'm not supposed to know but before i found our i knew it was coming i just didn't want to accept it. it started Friday night (well long before then but this is when it all took place.) when i just got the new i closed my door and broke down and cried. i cried for hours and threw things across my room listened to loud music then i just stared at my walls. i broke down in tears and fell to my knees i prayed for everything to just leave. i know it doesn't work that way but sometimes i wish it would. i have too much to handle i can't keep track and when another thing jumps in i just want to change things and go back.


I wish that I didn't text you that one day at the mall.
I wish i didn't go to the Halloween dance last fall.
I wish that actually cared instead of pretending like you did.
(when you answer a question with a question i know whats running through your head.)
I wish i never danced with you at that stupid band dance.
I wish that i didn't force you to tell me your 11:11 wish.
I wish that you got to know me. and actually knew the true me.
I wish that you could understand what you meant to me.
I wish that you weren't stupid.
I wish you weren't a jerk.
I wish you realized what you were. a player and that's all.
I wish you didn't hate me but sadly you do.
I wish I didn't waste, my Disneyland wish on you.
I wish you could understand my thoughts and whats going through my head.
I wish i didn't have a BTR just a normal tour instead.
I wish that you didn't do things that clearly you never meant.
I wish you were actually honest instead of lying to me instead.
I wish things were normal but that will never be.
I wish that you realized that things will never be the same.
I wish you didn't say things that were obviously untrue.
I wish that things were different.
I wish that we could be friends but right now it just can't be.
I wish that you'd just leave my thoughts for all eternity.
I wish that people wouldn't lie right to my face. just realize i can see that you're hiding something from that smug look in your eyes.
I wish i could forgive as easily as Christ did. I'm working on that but for right now you're on my bad list.
I wish that life could take a break and just move on in happiness.
I wish it was sometimes sunshine instead of always a thunderstorm.
I wish you were feeling what I'm feeling but obviously you're not.
some people may say they know but guess what you don't and it's not the same. its different and always has been from the day it started till the day it ends it always will be different not even close to the same.
I wish that i could change what i felt. because it obviously meant nothing to you.
I wish it never happened.
And with each wish it all just comes back to one stupid simple thing.
I wish i could go back in time and change what this used to be.

Taylie thanks for listening to my thoughts as i cried and telling me everything is going to be alright thanks for telling me you're thoughts and your opinions it means a lot to me.

Heather you know how i feel and you made me laugh when i couldn't smile. you hugged me when i needed to be hugged and it turned my day around.

Gretchen you're like a big sister to me you held me and asked if anything was wrong and held me and said he was wrong.

Sydney i know you're not telling me something and you may think you're protecting me but i need to know even if it hurts me to know. and if you're not i still need to talk to you.

Guys don't be stupid. don't be jerks. and DON"T be players. it's unattractive. its rude and it hurts more than you know. don't say things that you will take back a few weeks later. don't treat girls like trash and realize that we are fragile and our hearts break easily. realize that we over think everything. realize what you're doing before you do it. realize you only get one chance and if you blow it you don't get another one. realize that when we wish upon a star its for you. but if we wish upon that second star its to forget you. realize that every girl is a princess and they should be respected. and we will do the same for you. don't lie, cheat, ignore, hate, or bring us up just to tear us down. because one day in the future we will remember you and what you did and even though there might have been good times we wont remember them because all we will see is sad and the end. realize what you're doing and then use you're brains. because if people actually thought before they acted there wouldn't be as much pain and suffering in the world. I may be dramatic but that's who i am don't assume you know me because you probably don't. just think. and that's all I'm going to say because that's all that there is to say without saying something i might regret.

Sincerely,

I'M WISHING ON THAT

SECOND STAR...