what a wirlwind....

I have been super (and i mean SUPER!!!!) busy these past few weeks,
Trying to do it all
Trying to make everything work
and honestly It has been so crazy that i simply don't care as much anymore.
Its been great being busy but sometimes you just want a break
I went to the temple twice this week even though i had so much to do
I still went...
I Needed it... that's for sure.
You don't know what you're missing till it punches you in the face
(isn't that how the saying goes?????)
It's been ridiculous
It's been crazy
but only for a short while will this continue.
School is almost over
I'm crashing faster and faster as life goes by.
I'm getting more and more tired
and i don't think I'm getting better...
but honestly i don't really care....
is that sad to say?
that i just don't care anymore?
I have lived life the way i have wanted to
It has been difficult but honestly i am proud of myself and of what my life has become...
I'm fine
I'm great
just sometimes i need a break
I need rest
I need to look at the picture
I need to be alone
I need to just think
I did that a lot this weekend...
I just chilled
and thought about my life
about people
about high school
about my future....
i just thought...
I don't hate anyone
i never have and hopefully never will
just sometimes I'm exhausted
it happens
oh well
nothing i can do about it...
but today i crashed for four and a half hours...
just catching up on sleep
i feel somewhat normal again
that's good right?
Oh well it's been a good weekend that's for sure :) :) :)
Thanks
Sincerely,
My life is starting to make sence again
PS please ask me you questions instead of other people
i can tell you, i will tell you, just ask me and please don't pretend I'm
not there.. because well i am that's all thanks bye :)

happy to be happy

today did not go as planned and honestly I'm glad it didn't
i went and had an adventure with some of the most darling caring FUNNY and super good friends of mine
i have never smiled so much in my life
i miss the good ole days
i honestly do
i miss him  more than any of you know
and it hurts sometimes more than it should
i know
i try to control it
sometimes i explode
sometimes i cry
sometimes i just stare into his eyes
and sometimes he stares back...
i long for it to be the way it was
but at the same time i want different
i don't want the same
i want the truth
I'm not a fake person
not anymore
i am who i am
and if you don't like that than simply walk away
because frankly I'm not going to pretend
I'm someone I'm not
you can wish for things to go back to the way they were but
I'm happy
i still wish
i still hope
and i still dream of him
(more than i should)
but i do
 (hey at least I'm honest
 because the one thing i can't stand in this world is a liar
and I'm not a hypocrite) 
today has probably been the first time i have smiled for me
in a few years
i miss being happy
i miss smiling because i wanted to not because i was forced to
i miss being me
all i want is a break
just six months
that's all i ask for
just a vacation with no troubles
no worries
no strife
just laughter
and smiles
and him
that's all
you don't have to agree
because i know you don't understand
i know you don't care
and i know what you think
but i don't care
because we have lost sight in each other
but i haven't lost sight in me
in fact right now
i know me
more than ever before
and i know why i do the things i do
and i know what i want
Sincerely,
That's all I ask of you 
 

What Matters Most?

Priorities we all have them.

What do we look for?

What do we want?

Why do we want them?

Why do we even care?

sometimes our lives get mixed up in a jumble.

sometimes we lose our way

sometimes people say the wrong things

sometimes friendships are broken

sometimes life just happens.

you see people leaving and it breaks your heart

you see them leave and hope for the best

you hope youre still going to be friends

but then people go and say they are wrong

for wanting more

for wanting to succeed and not stand still

to change their priorities

why should it matter to other people?

why should they say those things?

what makes people think that they "know" everything?

this post isn't even about my life.

I had a chat with a good friend.

they actually care

we had a chat

we talked about why it shouldn't matter

and honestly it doesn't matter

one thing doesn't make a person who they are

and one choice may change there life

 but that doesn't mean it's the wrong choice.

sometimes they need to leave

as hard as that may be, maybe they just can't stay anymore.

they just might need a better view.

when you think about it

life isn't about sports, grades, high school, or any material thing.

life is about how you live it

how you take advantage of your opportunities

how you act around other people.

why you act that way.

so in reality what really matters to you?

i will tell you what matters to me.

Honesty

integrity

faith

love

devotion

words

actions

summer days

caring people

friends (true friends)

memories

the future

The Temple

and obviously the Gosple

realize this

you can't live a lie

one day we will all be forced to face the truth

and that day will hurt more

than if you actually told the truth in the first place

don't lie, cheat, pretend, assume, or regret

liers always lose

cheaters never prosper

pretenders are always uncovered

assumptions (well you know the quote.)

and regrets just leave you questioning with "what if?"

my life has priorities

i have them where i want them.

Sincerely,

it shouldn't be what matters

but who matters most.