ugh...... im so alone

being sick sucks just so you know
.......
i feel so helpless
dizzy
loopy
well you get the point
i have been alone and watching hour upon hour
of elementary, the lying game, pretty little Liars, and studio c
yes  my life is boring and annoying
but all i have done this weekend is watch reruns as
and cough out important organs......
and sleep for twenty hours.... yes twenty and thats
why I'm posting this because i can't sleep....
its two am and im watching sad music videos
wow when i write it out like that it makes me look even more pathetic
well i guess i should start up a new thing....
onto pinterest i go......
sincerely,
as alone as i can be.....

wishing on falling stars

so i went to the AF vs. Lone Peak game
with a car for five fitting seven...
faith heather will Allison Jen me and .... Jordon :)
what a joyful time i had with heathers approval
seeing the drum line
knowing he loves cafe Rio
apparently he plays football
being rebel "students"
sneaking in the new kid ;)
having sarcasm wars with him and Allison
having everyone in the car honking and yelling "get some"
(so inappropriate BTW ;)
loving life planning the weekends searching for more activities
laughing and being with each other
"i am so twtter pated that butterflies just tickle my innards"
as i told Kelsi about boys (a certain one at least)
my life is fitting in place
i feel like I'm in the right place at the right time
I'm just happy
for once in a really long time i feel like the stars are aligned
Sincerely,
i wished for you on that falling star

I found my reason

as I was sitting watching and showing my grandmother
 my field show . experience it clicked
 about why I do it and why I put up with all the carp I do
 sitting there and crying and watching and listening and hearing
those drum majored being called and thinking about how we will never share a room again or have matching shirts and talk about boys and do face we masks and watch late night tv but I also thought about what would have been if no th h OK by ever was and I would have to say that band is my safe haven I may not like we winter but I sure as beck Love field through all the pain sweat and tears I will always love it and I will always remember being a 959 babe and seeing thee Drum majors as angels and bringing donuts to field painters hitting on David Drum line boys stand OK by OK n puddles at band camp and singing the friend song and crying in public . I will remember the rose parade president I will remember the cape pass off I will remember odd fundraisers and taco Tuesday's Wish I had at least one more year
sincerely
where was I before this moment?