The words I wished had gone unsaid

I haven't posted in a while....

and well five or six days is a while for me ....

I haven't posted because I haven't know what to say

but last night I was reading my scriptures

and all of a sudden words stared flowing through my head.

I needed to write them down.

and I finally found what I have been needing to say.

Although its not entirely how I feel I do feel like this sometimes

and so I wrote what i had to say.

but not like a journal,

I have discovered that me keeping a journal simply doesn't work.

instead i wrote it in poetry form which I have found I love.

even if it's not that good.

I simply love writing poetry and reading it

because it says more than words can say alone.

The first one i wrote is called Walls......

You know things

but you don't know all

when people speak it's like talking to a wall.

that's all you do is sit and listen.

but no one bothers to help you trapped in your prison.

the prison that never breaks nor falls

just builds and builds its tall thick walls.

the sun is getting dim

and the sunset can not get in.

darkness soon overtakes all.

all because of your big thick walls.

dramatic i know but i don't know why i wrote that.

yesterday as just was emotional and i don't know why....

just kind of like today when you burst into tears for no reason

yep it's kind of going to be one of those weeks

where you have so much to say but you will never get the chance to say them

and there is so much to do but you just simply can't do any of it

because it is so overwhelming....

which brings me to the next poem I wrote yesterday...

it's called Tears...

an effect of sorrow

an effect of wonder

your heart leaps out filled with hunger.

waiting for that dream to pass.

wanting for that moment to last.

the days go by

the weeks grow weary

that second you loved starts to get dreary.

you wanted different things back them.

you thought you'd spend your life with him.

but that thought will not come true.

as the tears of sadness come over you.

Once again dramatic but I am a girl who takes things way to seriously and

feels way too many emotions at once.

and sometimes you just need to cry....

I have learned that it's OK to cry every now and then

(and I am the type of person who hates crying because I feel stupid whenever I do!.)

but I shouldn't feel that way because everyone has bad weeks and days but i never really cry.... I have cried when i watch sad movies... ( like toy story three of Charlie.)

but with other things its different i never cry in front of anyone and rarely about once a year my family sees me cry but that's only my parents.

Sometimes i feel like i have no emotion at all

and sometimes i feel like it's bursting out of me.

I don't always now how i feel

or how i am supposed to feel.

but i feel something that is indescribable.

And right now that's all i can say.

because i have nothing else to say

because i can't find the words.

so ponder and think of your life

and the words you can say

and the things you can think.

and the people you know

and the guidance you have.

and realise that you are blessed.

and realise that

"you is kind.

you is smart.

and you is important."

the help.

Sincerely,

Don't build the wall.....