so much yet not enough...

im  doing everything i can
and yet it feels like i should do more
i feel like i need to just see a different light
but everything is overwhelming but it's weird
i like it but i don't....
i want to go to sadies but i feel so awk
i don't know how i would ask
i have an idea of who but who knows?
i just want to feel special
for once
i just want to feel like someones there
i want to see what im missing
i want to see why
i want to know how to change
but somehow i just cant
i just wish i were different
but i love the way i  am
i just wish everyone could know about my thoughts
but no one cares to ask
sometimes i wish people wouldnt use sarcasm
just some people its ok with others
sometimes i wish people wouldn't joke crudly
sometimes i wish people had respect
sometimes i wish people care
sometimes i just want to scream my feelings
sometimes i want to care
sotimes i wish i didn't
sometimes i just want to know
sometimes i just want to let go
what keeps me holding on for so long
i only wish it were far gone
i cant' interact under this spell
sometimes i feel like im in hell
who even cares about the past
i try not to
but we move so fast
i want to go back to the good old days
when evryone laughed and we all played
i want to go pack to last fall or november
and i thought i would Never say Never....