why?

why do i put up with it
why do i even do this?
whats the point?
it's not getting me anywhere?
i could be doing something else...
i could be with him
i could have a job
i could do so muh more with my life
why do i spend it doing this?
ive been done for a while
all i want is out
but i know i will miss it
so i stay just to bei in for fall
whats the point?
is it worth all the money?
the stress?
 the heartache???
when did i decide this is what "I wanted?"
is there time to change?
i need to talk to somone who knows...
i need to know for myself
sincerely
just break me now....