a choice or a reason

I have been contemplating a lot of different choices lately
I have made pros and cons.... cons won
maybe because I'm too stubborn but honestly maybe I just didn't want a reason pursue it
maybe I'm scared maybe I just need time
maybe I don't want anyone to get hurt
maybe Idon't want to be the one to hurt him
maybe Idon't wantto be his excuse or his reason......
but I feel like I should give him a chance
because after all .... wouldn't I want a chance?
wouldn't Iwant to prove myself?
wouldn't I want " love"
i just feel the need todo something
Ineed to be there.....
but I don't want a rerun of last year
I don't want to be an excuse.....
I just want to be me....
but I don't want to get hurt.....
sincerely,
is my reason good enough to make my choice..... ?